sEpTeMbEr FoUrTh 1986

After effect after USS

2011-03-31T05:10:00.000-07:00

Long time..
my neck still hurts after the roller coaster rides, somehow, i feel kind of dizzy whenever i thought about it, i hated when it goes towards the ground, i could almost feel my heart trying to jump out from my mouth, my hands trembles and i kept sweating.

But we did had fun taking pictures.

Ya Allah

2010-11-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

Oh Ya Allah... i really need your guidance...

Oh Ya Rahman... show me the right path..

Oh Ya Rahim.. give me the will to fight.. to be brave in everything...

I am weak.. so weak that i cant even defend myself from my own evilness..

Oh Ya Allah...

2010-11-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

Life is not getting any beautiful.... haix...

dull

2010-10-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

I dont know why, but i had a feeling my life is coming to another dull season..

its like.. what am i really looking forward to...

im just too boring to entertain anyone..

Mr Din

2010-10-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

when i met Din after so long, he made me want to try harder in life.. try for just a little harder in everything that i want.. try to aim for something, something thats worth more then anyone that can achieve it so easily..

deep down..

2010-10-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

no one really ask me much about my life... :)

working at Kranji Sanctuary.....

2010-10-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

I was walking along the maintenance road at Kranji Sanctuary Golf Course, suddenly I felt a wet slimy hairy thing on my left hand, i turned.... oh man.. the dog just licked my hand.. luckily it was just a lick..haha.. i think he misses me.. he followed me all the way to the guardhouse, smelling my butt..hahaha..

and then there was the cat.. she saw me and call me with her pitiful voice.. Yes, its a she.. she move towards me and keep rubbing her body on my feet.. then she lie down and roll her body to show her belly.. haha.. Mentel sey kucing nie...

sometimes i wonder... animals show affection because they need us to love them... n animals are born a loving creature...

keep going..

2010-10-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since i updated my blog... very long indeed.. Hari Raya ended few weeks ago.. and school starting in 3 days time.. the only thing that is really memorable in September is i passed my semester exam, we celebrate our 2 years of relationship, and Hari Raya where she came to my house...

Life hasnt been what it used to be last year... :) the year changes, so does the people, the environment. I changed.. maybe because i had to, for the people around me..

The new school term is starting soon.. im not ready... its not nervous, its just, i can feel the loneliness creeping back at me...

Mr Din said " Friends is not important".. i agree.. i just want to end this School and get a diploma cert as fast as possible without ever realising that its passed a long time ago...

She's changed, so am i.. to adept to her.. i dont feel like touching you anymore baby.. the feelings had faded day by day... im sure of it...

sometimes i wonder.. the only thing that really makes me happy.. its not about others.. but its doing what i love most... perfecting myself.. i know i can't.. but i love making myself tired to even think about my faults...it changes me, improves me, perfected me..

I realised that god has given me one quality that i shuld "bersyukur" at: My Willingness to Improve myself...

i wish..

2010-09-04T10:42:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan is ending soon.. how i wish.. after this month..i will be stronger to face the world on my own...

Ya Allah, hamba mu ini sangat lemah Ya Allah..
Setiap hari berlalu dengan dosa yang banyak yang ku lakukan Ya Allah,
tak terkira bagaikan buih di lautan Ya Allah..
Ya Allah berikan lah ku petunjuk Ya Allah,
jalan yang kau redhai seperti jalan orang2 yang kau kurniakan pada orang yang beriman,
bukan jalan yang kau murkai dan bukan juga jalan yang kau sesatkan Ya Allah..

How i wish.. im in control of my nafsu...

Ya allah.. kau tenangkan la hatiku Ya Allah dari gejolak nafsu ku Ya Allah..
Setiap masa, ku turutkan nafsu ku, yang haram ku lakukan, terase semaken jauh denganmu Ya Allah..
Ya Allah..
Ya Allah...

Fighting!! :)

2010-08-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

8 more days and we'll be in the fasting month... I'm still not prepared for the change.. Semester is ending soon, after this Friday, at last i'll be free.. unfortunately lasted only till end of August as Im having my semester exams..damn... hopefully after that.. I can rest peacefully for the next 6 weeks till 24 Oct... Guess i have to study while celebrating Hari Raya...

Lately... school is nowhere interesting anymore... wished that i had passed and not repeat modules in previous years... im still holding on with my own will and patience throughout... 3 of my close frens had been kicked out from school, they had failed lots of module.. 1, had passed and now completed his final year project.. whereas im still stuck in year 2.. another 1, is trailing behind me.. pawning class and almost in the verge of failing everything, and me.... hoping that i can at least graduate.... please god.. strengthen my will to continue moving on till the finish... im so weak.. weak in controlling myself... i just still cant see the right path... i just cant find the right me...

Woodlands Waterfront

2010-06-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Went for a jog to the Woodlands waterfront at 8 in the morning is refreshing.. reached the jetty.. snapping pictures from the floating platform.. i sumhow fell in love with the peaceful surrounding .. staring at the calm sea... the sun casting its mirror like reflection on it.. the cool sea breeze.. i can see a man swinging his fishing rod.. i stood there looking at the sky... being alone, talking to myself... thank god its not raining..hahha.. i chuckled.. its along way from home...

i miss you...

2010-06-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Specially for my babygurl whom i love n treasure soo much...

SHe's totally in luv wiv dem

2010-06-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

Oh.. what the hell... Its your likes and you have the right to like whatever it is that makes you happy!.. Be it Korean Boys or anything!.. You can watch their video clips as long as you like, stare at their pics and keep it close to your eyes or wherever you like, listen to their music and loop their songs over and over again as much as you like, Haha!.. its all up to you baby! nothing makes me more entertain then seeing you smiling so crazily at them..hahaaaa!!

Well what to do... haha.. guess i should just play the PSP while she admire and fantasized the gorgeous Korean boys..., on second thought, i do think that the SNSD girls are superhawt..:P:P:P

endure...

2010-05-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

I dont know why.....
when i was a lil kid.. i dreamed of being a firefighter...
I went thru the training, thru all the heat, the water, and then i realised...
Its not because for the job itself.. its a personal issue..
i just love being in that helmet... when you pull down the visor.. no one can see your face, your expressions..no one knows what your feeling, whether your hurt, crying, in pain.. and then you know.. your problems is not important anymore.. its the one that your trying to help to make them safe, to make them smile and laugh..

I dont know why....
as soon i began reaching my adulthood.. i began dreaming of being a pilot.. high up in the air.. doesnt care about those on the ground.. no one can touch you.. to make you sad, to hurt your emotions.. your free... and eventually.. you have to come down, to face the problems of the world again.. the part of parcel of life that we cant avoid.. but endure the worst and thank Allah for the best...

u are...

2010-04-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

ur my sweetest thing...

hoping to see ghost....

2010-04-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

I was like... nervous and enthusiastic in my first night working at Kranji Golf course... when the clock is almost 11.. me and mr samsuri set off in the dark with just a torchlight in my hand and the clocking device on my left.. then we ride a buggy and mr sam drove it into the deepest part of the golf course.. the deeper we go.. the darker it became..till it was like pitch darkness the only light came from the front lights of the buggy and the torchlight i was holding.. then as soon as we reach the generator room at the far end of the field.. we saw!!!... and mr sam step on the accelerator pedal like Schumaker... this is what we saw....

*just joking*

we never saw anything... from all the stories the other guards had told about.. i never saw a thing.. but there's a reason why god did not let me see them..

Back to school!!.. omg.. boooring..

2010-04-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

I was like posted four new post including this one for today...*couldnt sleep since 6.30 after my morning prayers*.. been online eversince.. parents still not home yet since yesterday morning *off to a business convention in KL* sent them off in the dead morning 5.30 while everyone's still dead that is.. so its just us.. three brothers with an empty gas tank in the kitchen *how are we gonna cook anything* none of us even bother to call the gas..*hopeless..hahaha..* though, bro bought roti pratas for breakfast *and we gobbled up*...

tomorrow is back to a start of a new term.. and my class tomorrow starts at three!! ends at five!!* two bloody hours of lecture*.. still have to buy the lecture notes.. money gonna burn.. im left to working only on friday night and thats just 50 bucks for a week.. hoped that mum will keep on providing cash for the school necessities.. normal spending will burn from my own pocket.., i hoped i'm still in the same class with Siti.. she's the only malay girl that i can communicate freely as my previous semester class, im the only malay boy with the rest chinese whom are not friendly enough..*im friendly though..haha.. talk to me.. and i talk to you with an extra smile*

Today.. we're going to lepak at the library, aku dan kamu. oh and one more..my laptop.. without this guy.. surely theres no point in going to the library... *theres one problem though, the adapter to charge the laptop, the cable seems to be tearing off*.. must be extra careful..

lately.. im expecting too much from her.. i cant help it..this desires, urges.. must be really hurtful to control these emotions *haha..boys will always be boys..* maybe i should pursuade dad to buy a plasma tv for me..hahaha.. see the clip below LoL..

Eventually.. i have to control these emotions..

well.. cant wait to finish school.. get a job,settle down.. marry you.. have babies..hahaha..

Adindaku

2010-04-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

Semua untukmu oh adindaku

Dengarlah rayuan di hatiku

Sesungguhnya aku mencintaimu

Selalu di hatiku memanggil namamu

Oh adindaku oh adindaku

Semua kerana, kerna kamu...

cute talkative baby..

2010-04-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

why women talk alot?? they are born that way... :P

yes, she said:Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla , you never care about my feeling, bla bla bla bla, i feel like am talking to a wall, bla bla bla bla bla bla, you never do anything around here, bla bla bla bla bla bla, does this make me look fat, bla bla bla bla bla bla.You know the normal stuff females say...

Date Night...

2010-04-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

Me and her in Orchard... highlight of the day... "Date Night" *hilarious!!*

second highlight of the day "Sakura" *next time bring more tupperware la dear,haha!*

*can't stop munching on these, yumz*

here's a trailer of the Date Night movie, you!.. should not missed it!!

*Will you please wear your f****** shirt please!!!!* *LOL*

lets get married :D..

2010-04-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

By....

2010-04-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

Pencil and Eraser

2010-04-11T04:41:00.000-07:00

Pencil: "You know, i'm really sorry"

Eraser: "For what? You didnt do anything wrong"

Pencil: "I'm sorry cause you get hurt because of me. whenever i make a mistake, youre always there to erase it. but as you make my mistakes vanish,you lose a part of yourself. you get smaller and smaller every time"

Eraser: "That's true, but i dont really mind. You see, i was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong.Eventhough, one of these days, i know i'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, i'm actually happy with my job. so please stop worrying. i hate seeing u sad :)

Kenduri Doa Selamat

2010-04-11T03:13:00.000-07:00

Kenduri bace yasin, tahlil and doa selamat at my house... most of my cuzzins couldnt make it.. eventhough my dad expected the living hall to be fully occupied.. at least the makciks are lively enough to fill in the empty spaces of the hall with their voices.., after the Yasin and tahlil.. its buffet time..

"nasi minyak, kuah dal daging kambeng, ayam masak merah, ayam goreng, mi goreng!! wow!!"

from left: MakUsu, Nana, Kakngah, Makngah Siti, Syaida, Makude, Kak Isdah, Maklang, Makcik Izan

"Mane2 pon boleh tengok, ade due cameraman"

"Ni due pakcik ni dudok lepak tengok tv"

"shurfieq je cuzzin laki dewase yang datang for today, yang laen mane ntah, tk bleh harap"

At the end of the kenduri.. the house is back to emptiness at 6.30... teros kene berak2..waduh!!

widen my eyes..

2010-04-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

i was working with this old man whom i met on the first day of our new assignment at penjuru road.. 60+ years old..older than my parents..so we had all the time to our selves to get to know each other..he told me stories of his life.. about his teenager days.. about his turnover to become a better person.. about his family.. about his life.. he showed me the pictures of his family whom he never shared with anyone unless he really trust that person..i was really impressed of this old man whom had gone through alot and had done alot of which i had never imagined that he could have done it.. some way or another he influenced me to become a person to believe in myself and to hold up my principles high...

2010-04-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

Walau diriku rasa diketepikan oleh mu..

walau ada yang lebih penting dari diriku..

walau aku tidak terlintas dalam fikiranmu..

walau diriku hanya ada bila tiada yang lain..

biarkan masa terusnya berputar..

mencintai kamu penuh rasa sabar..

jangan pernah kau cuba untuk berubah..

time passes by...

2010-01-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

april already!!..
Tidak ku sangka...
how time passes by..
Been thru alot of fun, boring, sad, happy times since the end of my second year..
met new faces.. her friends.. spent most of the days working.. new workplaces... whenever my off day, went out wiv her.. n her friends... feels tiring sometimes.. but what the hell.. at least im tired for having fun.. rather than work and feels mendak the whole 12 hours of my job and reached home like a zombie.. i prefer the first...

New workplaces such as kranji golf course is like super relax.. some more have air con.. and i was like sitting around for 12 hours in the guardhouse alone.. luckily im in the day shift if not..malam2 nampak bende terbang teros pengsan.. eh cannot sey mah.. sometimes day time also can see people without head..Choi!!..( heard that one while during my NS days)... siak jer..

Ngee ann city is another new place.. hated the driveway.. is like hell's driveway.. the heat i can tolerate..but the rich arrogant always complain2 one always get on my nerves... F U.. KNNB..CB..CK..(heard that from 1 uncleguard who always like to scold2)hahaha.. rilek uncle.. bawak bertendang.. jangan tendang gua sudah..

and then my off day.. went out with her.. thats the only time i look forward for every start of a new week.. to see her.. makes me soft inside.. seeing you fuss with your corset and the heat.. must be unbearable.. soo pitiful... whatever it is.. you are my only sunshine.. my one and only moonlight.. your happiness is mine.. your sadness i will wipe your tears...

All i have is you..

2009-07-05T03:09:00.000-07:00

here you are lying on my lap..
watching you fall asleep..
hear you breathing peacefully..
As much as i felt like sleeping with you..
i cant.. coz i have to take care of you..
i'll stay awake..

I wonder...

2009-06-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder...
When will the time comes to clear my problems..
I really hope it comes..
I've been waiting for it all this while..
So i can gather myself back..
and path back the track i've set up before..

I wonder...
When will i see the people again..
where everything was fun and everyone was funny..
for so long we've never seen each other..
and when we meet again, its like we have to introduce back again..
I just hope, they're still as funny as before..

I wonder...
When will i get the target i wanted all this while..
to see it dropped down like the rain..
as it wets it gets harder to rise up..
i know i can always push harder with the will i have..
with the brains i have, with the strength i have..
i will go all out, even if i never get a peaceful sleep..

I wonder...
When will i have you all by myself..
to see you as my own..
the wonderful times you have given me..
i wanted to give it to you and share it together..
I never forget the eyes i lay on, the first time we met..
you are my first and i wish there is no end..

Somewhere Deep Inside

2009-04-03T00:38:00.000-07:00

When i sit all alone... and there's no one beside.. i realise.. i'm back to where i started.. things from the past came in flashbacks..

where are my friends from primary school?.. where we played soccer together during recess time at the school field.. where we were forced to sit far away from each other so we won't talk..

and secondary school??.. where we stay back at our secret port after school and talk about nonsense.. where we ran away from remedial class by the back door.. we had crushes for the same girl.. where we were suspected for stealing..

and ite???.. where we loiter around the school.. watch videos together at the library till almost miss our classes..

and now poly.. i can see myself moving further away from my friends.. i don't know why, maybe i was born to be this person who prefers to move along alone..
Poly life getting harder as semesters pass by.. failed two modules, gonna be separated from friends yet again.. then have to make new friends, eventually i be alone again..

Somewhere deep inside of me.. the only thing that has been lifting me up is my will.. not my muscles or my energy.. its my mind, to see everything positively, to improve, to transform to a better person than before, to make others happy rather than sad..

I heard someone say this before and i believe its true.

"True happiness in life is not being happy just alone, but making others feel happy because of you"

So Long

2009-03-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

Been so long never update this.. busy with work at Suntec City.. IT show had always been a major event.. full carpark, stubborn drivers, human and vehicular traffic jam, what a week.. have to stand at the entrance of the carpark for hours, guiding the motorist to drive their cars towards the public carpark rather than the basement that is for the loading and unloading delivery vehicles.. end up with a stressed back problem.. it hurts and my legs have to endure from 8 in the morning till 8 in the evening.. reached home at 9.30+.. all i can do is have dinner, shower, pray and bedtime..

Never thought that i will miss her so badly.. i can't even think straight.. she's been to batam since last Saturday..at least now she had return.. missed her face, her voice, her touch, her smell.. and it's just been 4 days.. i don't know why, the thought that she's not in Singapore makes me worry about her...

SenTosa Wiv Her...

2009-02-15T23:41:00.000-08:00

She giv a msg "sorry by, tknk pakai yng purple tu ah, nmpk gemok"
I smile to myself.. feel like laughing.. but mum will think that im crazy.. went to my room and said out loud.. fiqa..fiqa.. haha.. as long as you're happy in whatever you want to wear.. Luckily she have another purple..

We already bought the foods and the drinks on friday so we don't need to tire ourselves in the morning.. if not we have to come early and but the foods from ViVo..

So we meet up at Jurong East at 10.. almost miss the train she was in.. she was supposed to give me a miss call.. luckily i spotted the small tudung girl..haha..rushed in before the doors closed.. train was packed as usual in the morning and its sunday.. looking sweet in her purple dress that looks like batik prints.. and she say i look handsome.. haha.. im always handsome what...

Vivocity 3rd floor.. the counter queue was very long.. we don't know we can buy the tickets using the machine at the side until one of the lady over there led us to the ticketing machine.. saves us alot of time..

First stop.. Imbiah!!.. escalatored down, grab the map and walk towards the merlion.. then we head up to Sarpino's pizza for our breakfast and the weather is freaking hot.. azab! panas!.. she was like boiling, can see her cramped face.. so pityful..haha.. so i decided to fan her with everything that i can find.. And the Pizza was Awesomely delicious..

Then we head to Underwater world.. snap alot of pics of fishes, crabs, stingray and an octopus.. After that Dolphin lagoon.. the dolphins was kinda cute..n she was like saying nonstop.." Kiutnyerrr, kiutnyerr, kiutnyerr"...

After that. we went for a ride on the Luge.. as usual.. she has problems with the handle.."Come on bebeh..why tak gerak2??..hahs".. promised i won't overtake her, so i just tail her from behind.. then up we go.. skyriding is our favourite.. except for the heat from the sun!!.. and she keeps scolding me for shaking around..

Finally at 7.40.. we watched the Songs of the Sea.. what a show to end up our day at sentosa.. The fireworks were perfect and the water fountains and the fire..all was fantastic... It was beautifully done.. if i can give a grade.. i give it 9/10..

In the end all that matters is to have an enjoyable time with her.. just to be with her.. see her smile and her eyes.. and she's happy... so am i..

i did say once:
" tengok u senyum, ketawe, mate u bersinar sinar.. dah cukup untuk buat i hepi"

Bro's engagement day.....

2009-02-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

My mum was surprised.. " Eh tak tahu banga nak tunang hari sat nie!!" mum said..
The thing is i did not know the exact date.. so already had plans with her.. kinda shocked that it has to be on valentine's day.. Luckily she's not mad with me cause she is very UNDERSTANDING, kan Fiqah.??.. went out on Friday instead..
Bro's Engagement Day.. major clean up activity in progress before.. everybody in a rush, time is really short and the house, my room in a mess.. is like a plane crashed into my room.. so, stuffed all my things inside the cupboard.. and TaaDaaah!! in just 10 mins my room is in hotel standard..

My job for today.. peel boiled eggs, kinda hard cause its a bird's egg, the small ones, have to peel it in perfect condition, no holes.. cause it is used for decorating for the presents also known as Hantaran in malay..snap a few pics below.. took at least 3 mins to peel one egg.. seksa btol!!.. luckily it's for my brother if not i ask for 50bucks for my service..

Altogether 11 tray (dulang hantaran).. snap some pics.. kinda proud of my mum cause most of it she made all the decorations by herself..

At 3, we move out in 4 cars.. reach the place at 3.40.. meet the very important person of the house, exchange greetings, followed with our sole purpose coming into the house.. the situation was very lively.. had some laughs about the money (duit hantaran).. they counted it to make sure its correct..

Then i get to see my future sis in law.. all cramped in the room.. can't even breathe.. omg!!..

After that.. we eat buffet nasik minyak outside.. but i prefer our house nasik minyak.. ours the ayam masak merah fuuuhhh!!!.. licking finger,haha..

At 4.30.. we went back home, funny thing is, my brother dont want to go back with us.. muke tak malu!! haha.. he stayed over there until night..

The day went on smoothly.. reached home.. settle down, everyone was tired because the weather was pretty hot.. azab! panas!.. we have to keep on making the cold drinks.. then all of us watched the video that we recorded earlier.. kinda glad to see everyone sitting together at the living room, watching the video and laughing together...i stood at the back watching their happy faces.. then my cousins pull me to sit together......

These are the kids that trashed my room..!!

We'Re gonna be 1 year ThRu PoLy

2009-02-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

I CAN'T WAIT FOR HOLIDAY!!

That's the only thing i'm looking forward to... still not making any plans for the coming holiday... have to go through the semester exams first

1st year in poly for us is coming to an end.. We're going to move up the ranks to second level pretty soon..

The thing is, i still don't get it, how can they be playing computer games yet they can understand what the teacher is teaching.. while playing.. i bet even if the exams are two seconds apart, they will still be talking about Power Level Ups, Weapon Of Choice, Players to buy and yada yada yada.. but they're still pass with high grades..they must be using cheat codes..

Oh well.. just hope i can scrape through with a C grade on all my subject.. IS modules, can't hope much.. a D grade is predictable..

This semester have been really harsh to us, with lots of weird subjects, urgent assignments, fussy lecturers.... hope the next semester will be kind to us...

Valentine Day is coming in 3 days! .. anybody you should be spending time with??

EXaMs?? OMG iM not PrePared

2009-02-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

Exams are coming in two weeks.. and im not even preparing my study schedule yet..
Lots to do.. the thing is, i realise i should have plan everything right from the start.. now i'm burdened with lots of things that are not organized.. I should have seen it earlier..

Gone for the charity show at Woodlands Stadium, rushed from school after finishing my FAT test( its not the fat, fat...its aerospace stuff).. pass by my three friends whom were standing at the stairs near the NP library, can't even see me walking pass them, so got a clearance and full steam ahead towards the bus stop, reach there at 6.30...

Bought the student priced tickets at 5 bucks.. luckily i'm still a student, normal tickets cost 12 bucks and grandstand tickets cost 20 bucks (mahal la sey.. bleh tengok wayang pastu makan nasi ayam penyet la oii)..

Saw her at the last entry gate.. she's positioned there until the show starts.. shes a volunteer helper..looking kinda weird in the polo-t she was made to wear.. but cute as always, complaining about her looks whenever i say she looks fine (but actually weird.. i think the shirt is too big for her or she purposely wants that size)..

The show starts at 7.30 with Jatt Ali singing his song..two songs.. can't remember the name of the song..

she got nothing to do after the entry gates are closed, so she sat beside me watching the show together..

then the soccer match starts.. with artist from suria like syed Azmir (he wore pink boots..haha),Syeikh Haikel( he played as a striker..he even declare himself top striker, he don't even need to dribble the ball..just use his PEROT..haha), Aaron Aziz(goalkeeper cum striker.. scored a penalty) .. and the veteran singapore soccer player's like Fandi Ahmad, Pitchay, Samawira Basri, Malek Awab, Rafi Ali.. and even Hady Mirza played.. but can't get any pics though.. the only chance of having close up with them is after the show, which i choose to go back home because i have a stomach ache..

Overall it was Syeih Haikel who made it so memorable with his antics on the field.. he even turn the match into a wrestling match.. With the keeper..haha.. The match ended with a stalemate of 6 - 6.. then there was the penalty shootout.. which eventually the winning theam goes to team Malek.. most of the players in team malek were veteran soccer players... so its no suprise Team Fandi lost.. Most of the players were comedians and artist anyway..

The show ended at 10.30... I went back home alone.. and she had to do her duties.. which she did not as i found out later( amek gamba ngan artist ehhh).. n she went back home.. in a car(dapat tumpang laaa dierr).....

Am i lost in my own world??

2009-01-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

Sitting in the NP library, waiting till 3 o'clock, staring around at people like a weirdo, its freaking boring, plus i hate it when i have to spend time alone waiting till class start at 3. I don't know why. this past few days, i tend to sit alone somewhere in school. Maybe i came to school too early, or i don't have any friends. They are no where to be found.. maybe i'm lost in my own world.. can't even see them even if they're right infront of me..

I keep feeling left out these past few days, maybe i'm stress of work, stress with school.. my room in a mess, my time schedule is totally jumbled up, i need a holiday!!.. can't wait for the holidays after exam!! i don't want to sit for the exam, can i just have the holiday?? please, please, president SR Nathan.. can lahh.. last time we neighbour what!! we play sembunyik2 together!!.. ( i tell him already! but he say last time his neighbour he play together, is lembut2, that one my other neighbour, he don't believe la seyh)..

I can't wait for the holidays to come.. i really need to rest my brain.. lots of studies to do, decisions to make, plans to create.. i need her.. she gives me the will to do everything that i'm not sure of achieving..

Nobody see what i see

2009-01-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

I used to go to school every morning during my secondary school life, so does everyone, in the morning while its still dark (PaGi-paGi buta), while my eyes are still heavy, while the schoolbag dragging me down to the floor..

and then i see.....

the man tapping his stick infront of him, the man who makes me shed a tear everytime when i see him walking, carrying a shoulder bag on his left while he held his stick on his right, he doesn't need any help nor does he needs anyone to feel bad about him, once i walk up to him and say that i will bring him to the bus stop, and he just said "never mind", i try to pull his arm, but he just don't want me to help him, and so i feel bad, maybe he don't want me to miss my bus, or he don't want me to waste my time on him, and then i realise, how hard it is to live like him, to not see the sun, the moon, the clouds, the sky, the beauty of the world, to not being a burden for everyone, to not beg for sympathy from people...

and then i see....

his eyes looking straight, and i know its all darkness for him, i see him everyday, everymorning, going to work, he inspire me.. his willingness, his courage, to continue on living no matter how hard it may be to accept his fate..

and sooo..

his stick keep on tapping through the dark, silent, morning until god knows when, the morning will be silent... ( i pray he will be stronger than ever and never lose faith on himself)..

KeSanggupanKu

2009-01-12T02:55:00.000-08:00

Apakah maknanya pengorbanan dalam percintaan?

Sanggup melihatnya bahgia walau apa cara
Sanggup bersabar dengan karenahnya walau menyakitkan hati
Sanggup menunggu hingga nyenyak tidurnya
Sanggup mengesat setiap air mata yang mengalir di pipinya
Sanggup berkorban nyawa supaya jantungnya masih berdetup

Soalan yang ku tanyakan pada diri sendiri:
Adakah ku sanggup untuk membuat sedemikian...

Walau nadiku maseh tidak henti, kan ku tidak akan henti menyayangi
kerana bagi ku, itu la kesanggupan ku terhadap mu.

Luahan Hati Untuk Seorang Puteri

2009-01-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

Pertama kali ku bertemu denganmu..
Sayunya hatiku merindui dirimu..
Walaupun baru kita bersua muka..
Namun aku telah jatuh cinta..

Pertama kali ku bertemu denganmu..
Hatiku terpaut melihat senyumanmu..
Aku mengharap engkau menerimaku..
Kerna aku bersedia menyintaimu..

Akan ku renang lautan yang berapi..
Membuktikan kehebatannya cinta ini..
Tetapi jikalau kau meninggalkan aku..
Terhiris hati ini, terguris jiwa ini..
Menangis tk berlagu... Ohhh...

Biarpun ombak yang merubah pantai..
Kasihku takkan hancur berderai..
Biarpun hari berganti hari..
Dirimu tetap ku nanti... Ohhh...

Sayangku pimpinkan tanganmu..
Menuju mahligai bahgia..
Kita bersama nikmati kisah cinta..
Hidup bagaikan di syurga...
Oh kasih...
( Lagu Dari Iskandar )

Saat kau baring lena di pahaku,
Dan ku menyanyikan lagu,
Di dalam hati ku, ku berjanji padamu,
Ku akan menjagamu,
Di setiap bangun dan tidurmu,
Di semua mimpi dan nyatamu,
Ku akan menjaga mu,
untuk hidup dan matiku..
(Khas untuk my KumbangGirL)

"From all the hate you say to me, deep down i know you love me"

I LoVe u 2 La SeyH.. :):):)

A ParT-time job n a fuLL-time SchooL

2009-01-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

What its like to balance a part time job and a full time school?

From my point of view, i think that all it takes is just the proper management of schedule that is really important, you have to prioritize more on your school schedule than your work schedule, you have to plan the amount of time you want to work and combine it with your school schedule. In the end all that is sacrificed is your energy, still.. you get paid..

Now i'm doing a part time job as a security protection officer, since three months ago, not guard?? the differences is i'm qualified to fight fire, medical aid, emergency response procedure..ceyhh.. haha..act ah.. 1 year and 6 mths as a fire fighting instructor and 6 mths as a specialist emergency responder is not worth nothing!..:):):)

Behind this cool calm face.. and low profile personality..trust me.. you never know what i'm made of!..cheyyhhh...

Snap a few pics from my work place: Fountain of wealth in 4 colourzz..

Those who wants to work part time and at the same time going to school, by all means, you 're big enough to make your own decision!, in malay words "Suke hati kau la nak, da besar panjang pon"

HaPPy NeW YeaR!!

2009-01-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

So here comes another year to look forward to.. school, work, money, her..
Hope 2009 will be better than 2008, last year was very dull.. the only best thing about last year was meeting that girl.. seriously she's the one that will make me remember about 2008..

Yesterday we celebrated dad's birthday with all my uncles,aunties,cousins, location at a karaoke lounge at Johor Baru, reached there at 11 pm, all cramped in that room with.. i forgot how many person there were.. with barbequed black pepper and honey roasted chicken all being served at the table.. like woah!!.. yummy.., i sang two songs.. one from Ibnor Riza and another from Aerosmith.. i'm so talented (perasan).. haha..but i am good.. should hear me sing sometime, if only you pay me :p:p:p..
Guess what time we return home?? 5.30AM.. and somebody is jealous..haha! :):)..

School starts on the 5th.. i don't like this semester.. the modules are difficult to cope..seriously.. and the teachers.. are too fussy..well.. welcome back to school then!!

The Day Before Tomorrow

2008-12-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

Here i am sitting in the library waiting for her..
Library closes at 5 today, so she will be ending her work close to that time..
Snap a few pics of her while she's working, i think she's not happy that i took her pics..
its only been three months we coupled and the way we treat each other as though we've together for years, hope our love keep on blossoming as days, months, years pass by..

2009 is like 8 hrs more to go..
today is my dad's birthday, and i wonder if we'll be going out for a celebration dinner..
today is the last day of 2008, and im trying to set my resolution..

hmm..

My 1st will be in top priority: To plan my schedule properly, like going out with her, school, work, spending time with family, own free time

2nd: To plan my money and set budgets on everyday spending, like spent money with her, shopping on personal things, handphone bills,money for parents, personal savings.

3rd: To change my attitude of going anywhere late, such as meeting her, school, work.(must be punctual!!); schoolwork must be done and completed on time(don't be lazy!!); prayer should not be missed(praytime!!); bedroom must always be clean and organised(go and clean!!)

i guess that's all that i want to improve on.. hope i can do all of it.. amin..

What's Your Resolution then???....

de day he return where he started

2008-03-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

it;s always a sad moment when you see your loved ones decided to leave.. like forever.. and even harder when you are the one who gets to witness their every drop of tears that flows down.. i supposed to cry.. but somehow i felt happy for them.. they look happy.. their calm pale face knowing they're free at last.. i used to sit beside grandpa and hear him talk by himself.. i could only smile.. he just need some company.. before he had a maid, i used to bath him..;on wheelchair..together with my brothers..we pushed him to the toilet..then..we shampooed his hair.. soaped him..shower him.. it was fun.., when he was right there infront of me.. at the hospital...breathing out his last.. i knew he's happy.. my mum was crying.. and i was there calling my aunts that grandpa's gone.., the day he returned where he started..